In March 2009 we did our first IUI cycle. I was excited, terrified, and very hopeful!
I started my period and made THE CALL. I was scheduled for a 'baseline ultrasound' on day 3 of my cycle. It was to check my ovaries for cysts and my uterine lining to make sure it had thinned out properly. Everything looked good. I had a few small cysts on my ovaries, but nothing to be concerned about. I took my Femara for 5 days then went back for another ultrasound to see how my follicles were growing.
Now when I say 'ultrasound,' Dr. P doesn't do the nice, cold gel on your belly, external kind. He only does the exposed, undress from the waist down, 'you'll feel some pressure,' vaginal kind. Needless to say, I kind of go used to 'exposing' myself in front of Dr. P, various nurses, and several medical interns.
I don't have the exact numbers, but I know that nothing looked very promising. I may have had 1 follicle that looked 'okay.' Dr. P said that it should continue to grow over the next few days and we would do the IUI in 5 days. 3 days later I had my husband give me the trigger shot (my first injectable) and 2 days after that we had our first IUI.
Here's the procedure as I recall it: We arrive at the fertility center at about 8:30am. My husband goes to the designated room to do his part, then we sit and wait. While we wait the lab washes the sperm. This basically means that they separate the sperm from the surrounding fluid to make it more concentrated. They also check the sperm count, motility, and mobility. Once again, everything looked excellent and we were a go for the IUI. About an hour and a half later I found myself, once again, on an OB table with my feet in stirrups. Dr. P inserted a small catheter into my uterus and deposited the washed sperm as close to the fallopian tubes as possible. This is ideal for many reasons. The sperm don't have far to go to find the egg (if it's there) and it doesn't have to fight through any mucus (which kills sperm). Once that was done, I got to lay on a tilted table for 15 minutes talking and dreaming about the possibilities with my husband.
We spent the next 2 weeks hoping and dreaming and holding my belly, wanting so badly to be pregnant. If you know me, you know I can't wait for surprises. So 5 days before 'my missed period' I started taking home pregnancy tests. Every day it was negative and every day I kept telling myself that some people don't test positive until after they've missed a period. But the blood work 14 days after the IUI came back about as negative as you can get.
On the emotional side...
Right after we started the medication I went to my sister-in-law's baby shower. I thought it was hard. It was hard to see her so pregnant, talk about being pregnant and feeling the baby move. The worst part was hearing her answer questions like, "Is this the first grandchild?" In my head I answered, 'Yep. I'm never going to be able to have one, so she's gets to have the first.' I know that's not why the questions were asked, but that's where my brain went.
Even better? We got our negative blood work results on a Wednesday, I started my period on Friday and I went to a friend's baby shower Saturday. I probably shouldn't have gone, I know I didn't bring a very happy attitude. Fortunately it was a couples shower so my husband was right by my side. And when we left early because I couldn't choke back the tears any more, he drove us home because I couldn't stop crying enough to drive.
So we do it again...
can't imagine the disappointment and frustration! can't wait to read more of your story
ReplyDelete