Tuesday, June 28, 2011

an update...finally

As some of you know, we did an IUI on the 8th. Then came the dreaded 'two week wait.'

On the 13th I had my progesterone level checked and it came back at 22. Anything over 20 is awesome, so now it's a waiting game.

On the 14th I took a home pregnancy test and it showed positive. The next day it was negative. Now I knew for sure that the trigger shot was out of my system and any positive test would be an actual pregnancy. Negative, negative, negative...

Finally, on the 21st I got a positive test! Only problem is I started spotting only an hour after I took the test. Everything cleared up and I let myself get excited.

I had my blood work checked on the 22nd and didn't like what I heard. My progesterone was at 9 (still should be over 20) and my hCG was at 33. Anything over 5 means a pregnancy, but 33 is really low. So I started progesterone supplements and waited some more.

I started spotting again on the 26th and had my blood work redone on the 27th. My progesterone was high enough but my hCG was only at 56. In a good pregnancy, the hCG level should double every 2-3 days...it didn't even double in 6 days. So that combined with the spotting, the doctor said that the pregnancy just isn't meant to be.

Technically this is called a chemical pregnancy since there is no visible evidence of a pregnancy. But that is just a polite way of saying it's an early miscarriage.

Now I have to wait until July 5th to make sure that 1) it's not a tubular pregnancy and 2) that my hCG levels are actually going down. I have to wait until it is below 5 (preferably 0) before we can try another IUI round.

So, if anyone was wondering why I seemed so stressed...you know now.

Also, I will not be continuing this blog. I love having my story out there, I just can't continue to share with people who don't care. If you want to know what's going on...please ask, it's the people who do care that I started this for.

Sunday, June 12, 2011

2 week wait 2009

Sorry, this one is taking a while to write.

Most of you know that we had an IUI that worked. Well this is it! Here's how my 2 week wait went...

Thursday 05/28 - IUI

Wednesday 06/03 - My grandmother passed away. This is MY Mema. She was the one who was always there. She helped my mom when we were younger. She drove us to school, helped with laundry...her house is where we always went for Chirstmas Eve with the whole family.
She went into the hospital (like many times before) with chest pain and difficulty breathing. She had survived 5 heart attacks, double bi-pass (which she wasn't expected to make it through), 3 kids, 8 grand kids, and 3 great grand kids (at the time). After a long wait in the ER they decided to admit her...again. Here's what I saw...
My grandfather called my mom (who I worked for at the time) to let her know that Mema was being admitted to the hospital again. My mom told him to call when he knew what room number and she would be up there around lunch time. An hour later, my mom busts through the door from the warehouse looking like she was going to throw up. I stood up and asked what had happened. All she could manage was, "She's gone!" I knew exactly what she was talking about, but I don't think it really registered. We stood there holding each other for what seemed like forever. Then shock came over her face when she realized she now needed to call her sister and her brother and tell them what had happened. I did what I could to comfort and help her as she called person after person. And the pain would hit her again every time she said the words, "mom died" and every time she thought of someone she needed to call.
Things were blurry after that for the next few days.

Thursday 06/04 - The viewing was surprisingly okay. Mema looked very peaceful and there were TONS of stories being told. I guess it didn't seem quite real because she was still there physically.

Friday 06/05 - The funeral. This was VERY hard emotionally. I'm sure most people have been in a similar situation so I'm not going to get into it. Looking back, I should have known something was up on the pregnancy front but I was a little distracted, to say the least. My breast hurt so bad that I cringed every time someone wanted to give me a hug. Not just because I didn't want her death to be real, but it hurt like hell with every hug.

Saturday 06/06 - I told my husband that I refused to even think about taking a home pregnancy test until after my Mema's funeral, so Saturday morning I peed on that little white stick. I got the digital read out ones because I didn't want any question of whether there were 2 lines or just 1. I had enough time to finish my business, wash my hands, walk into the living room, and sit down before it registered "Pregnant." My first thought, as funny as it seems, was 'holy crow! they actually do work!' Then came the cautious optimism. It could be reading positive because of the trigger shot (it's the same hormone that is read on a pregnancy test). I mean, it had only been 9 days...still 5 days before my 'missed period.'

Sunday 06/07 - Another positive pregnancy test. I, again, tried to not get my hopes up...but it was getting REALLY hard.

Monday 06/08 - ANOTHER positive pregnancy test. Now my heart is fluttering and I can't sit still. My sister-in-law delivered her daughter this day and she wanted all of the women in her life to be there at the delivery. If I hadn't seen 3 positive pregnancy tests, I probably couldn't have been there. She pushed for about 3 hours, but after about an hour I thought I was going to pass out. Psst! Feeling light headed is VERY common in early pregnancy...much less with what was really going on inside of me.

Tuesday 06/09 - Another positive pregnancy test.

Wednesday 06/10 - Another positive pregnancy test. I never thought I'd like peeing on a stick so much! I should have known there was more going on when, the day before my missed period, I pee on the stick, set it on the side of the bath tub and before I can even stand up it reads positive. :D

Thursday 06/11 - I ran out of home pregnancy tests, but I went in for a blood test. Then I had to wait for the nurse to call me with the results. So me and my husband twiddled our thumbs and tried really hard to think of other things to maybe, just maybe, the time would pass a little faster. My blood was drawn at 8:30am and my phone didn't ring until about 2:30pm. Talk about nervous. When she called, her first words were, "Congratulations! You're pregnant!" Oh my God! I never thought I'd ever hear those words.
She told me that my hCG level was 313. She wanted me to come in the next week for another blood test to see what my doubling time is. (the hCG level should double every 2-3 days in early pregnancy).

Thursday 06/18 - The results of this test was 4044! My first ultrasound was scheduled for 2 weeks later (7 weeks pregnant).

Wait and and see what we found out... (yes, I know most of you know the answer...but it's fun anyways)

sorry for the delay

Life has been crazy! I'm sure everyone can relate.

My E2 level came back at 358 and Dr. P said we were a go for Wednesday. So Monday night at 10pm (and yes, it is specific as to when it's given) my husband gave me the trigger shot. I forgot how much that thing burned! We followed doctor's orders to have intercourse and crossed our fingers.

Wednesday morning we woke up and found out that we had a new niece. Congratulations to the new mom! Then we went to Dr. P's office in time for my husband's appointment and waited. An hour an a half later, we did the IUI.

And then we wait.........

I go in Monday morning to see what my progesterone level is and if it isn't high enough I will have a 'fun' medication to take. And we wait........

Monday, June 6, 2011

Current Events

I went in for an ultrasound Friday and I had 2 follicles that were noteworthy. On the right, I had one measuring about 15mm and on the left, 13mm. Both had grown, but neither was big enough. My E2 (estridiol) measured at 131! This is fantastic for follicles of this size.

The nurse gave me my Gonal shot for Friday, and since I am out of my injectible pen she gave me sample size injections. The dose is the same but the procedure is very different. With the pen I twisted the end to the dose I need, clean the injection site with alcohol, insert the needle (comparable to an insulin needle...very tiny) then push the end of the pen to dose out the medication. Easy. Now with the samples we have to put an 18 gauge needle (really big) on a syringe and push the saline water into the medication vial to mix it with the powder, take the 18 needle off (thankfully) and put on the tiny needle. Then draw up the medication out of the vial, clean the injection site, then insert the needle and inject the medication. Fun...right?

I have an aversion to injecting myself with a full fledged needle and syringe combo, so my husband gets to help out there. Saturday we decided to go to the mall so I brought my medication with me. When the time came (this medication needs to be given at about the same time every day) we tried to find a place where I could take my medication without making other people think I'm shooting up. So we went into the family bathroom and proceeded to mix my medication and...oops, while pulling the medication into the syringe, we accidentally pull the plunger out the bottom and my medication goes on the floor.

The on-call nurse tells me that they will be in the office Sunday and I can just come up there and pick up another sample...Thank YOU!!!

This morning I went in for another ultrasound and more blood work. The follicle on the left side is now about 17mm and the one on the right is now between 21-22mm!!!!! This means the IUI will be scheduled for Wednesday or Thursday depending on my E2 level.

I'm sooo excited, but I'm trying to keep my head on earth. I know this doesn't always have the outcome I hope for and I don't want to be an emotional wreck if it doesn't work. Easier said than done.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Round 3

Baseline ultrasound shows everything is good and ready to go, so we start again. We sat down with Dr. P and he explained to us that if this IUI didn't work we would be moving on to IVF, but he was going to up the medication again to give us the best possible shot.

(I got a copy of this cycle, so I have actual dates and numbers for you.)

5/13 - I started my period

5/14 - I had my baseline ultrasound and started my medication.
5 days of Femara (as usual) followed by 3 days taking 125 units of Follistim.

5/21 - I had several measurable follicles. And my Estradiol was 73.6
Here are the sizes: 13.17, 13.03, 11.31, 10.32, 9.95, 9.19, 7.69. Yep, I had 7 follicles worth looking at...kinda scary since I had only had 1 or 2 to look at up until now. But because none of them were big enough to do anything, I did another 5 days of 100 unites of Follistim.

Estradiol is a hormone. This should be reading 150-400 per mature follicle. Obviously, smaller, not mature ones will produce some estradiol too.

5/26 - My Estradiol was 899!!! And I had 2 great looking follicles (sadly, I don't have the sizes) and 1 that may or may not release. We were then spoke to in a concerned voice that, should this work, we could have multiples. We didn't care! We did the trigger shot that night and...

Thursday 5/28 - We came in and did our IUI and I was put back on the progesterone suppositories. We were very hopeful this time because this is the first time our doctor seemed really excited about us getting pregnant.

And again...we waited.

Round 2

We started round 2 on a bad note, but Dr. P said we were going to add an injectable medicine this time around so we were a little hopeful again. It stared off the same as round 1. Ultrasound looked good and I took 5 days of Femara THEN we followed it with 3 days of Follistim. The first mid-cycle ultrasound looked pretty good with one dominate follicle and a few smaller ones. I did a few more days of Follistim and went back for another ultrasound. Now we had 1 really good looking follicle that needed just a few more days. Another 2 days of Follistim and we did the trigger shot on a Sunday night.

On Tuesday morning (our 2nd wedding anniversary) we went in and did our second attempt. Again we talked about what this could mean, but with reserved optimism this time. Dr. P also put me on a new medication.

Medication #7 - Progesterone suppositories - Progesterone is one of the hormones responsible for making the uterine lining nice and thick for egg implantation. So....Here's the 'fun' part. I'm supposed to take 1 vaginal suppository when I first wake up and 1 at bedtime until I'm told I can stop. It will be for, at least, the next 2 weeks. OH, and they have to be kept refrigerated because they melt at body temperature. I'll let you use your imagination as to how 'fun' this is.

On our way to dinner that night we stopped by the hospital to see the baby girl my friend had delivered earlier that day. Because it was a hopeful day in my cycle, I could be happy for her.

No positive home pregnancy test and a phone call from the lab with my blood work results made for an interesting week. The lab tech said that my HCG level was elevated, but not high enough for them to say I was pregnant. I was told to come back in 3 days to re-test, but not to get my hopes up. Chances were, I wasn't pregnant and they were only seeing residual from the trigger shot. 2 days later, I started my period. Yet they still wanted to do a blood pregnancy test the next day. Talk about heart breaking!

So we did it again...

Tuesday, May 31, 2011

hurry up and wait

This morning I had an appointment with Dr. P's IUI lead for an ultrasound. We were looking to see how many follicles I had growing and how big they were. She found 2 on my right side measuring about 13.5mm and 9mm and 1 on my left side measuring about 9.5mm. We want one to be pushing 20mm if possible. So I will be doing 3 more days of injectable medication. I go back in Friday morning to see what's going on.

She also saw that I have fluid in my uterus (again), but Dr. P says it's no big deal yet because I'm not ready to ovulate. He thinks it will go away by the time we are ready for the IUI.

Hurry up and wait, hurry up and wait.